 My youngest was discouraged the other day, discouraged by fear. Her countenance fell as something important to her seemed to be going in the opposite direction that she hoped for. I invited her to share with me how she was feeling. She held back her tears and decisively stated to my face, "Mom, I don't want to talk."
Sometimes, I forget that when someone makes an appointment to meet with me for spiritual direction, they've had time to think about it first. I can easily forget that I need to give my children the time they need too. I cautiously tried one more question in hopes she would say what she needed to so I could help her. She shut me down before I could even get the question out of my mouth. I've smartened up over the years and took her response as a clear signal that she didn't want to talk. I think that means I'm growing in wisdom and in love. Thank God! If God can be patient in helping us, so can I. We were created to be with Him and become like Him. I'm a fairly good relator to people. Even so, I know next to nothing when compared to Jesus. Each member of my family, my friends, and neighbors live in the depths of their unique story, with particular experiences and questions in their hearts. Surely, my daughter felt some assurance of emotional safety as I waited, holding space for love. A little later that afternoon, she came and found me sitting on our back deck, wondering if I could talk with her? Now, she was ready to open up about her fear and discouragement. "I've been waiting for you," I said. I know it sounds creepy but between her and I, it was perfect. I meant it, too. I knew she would be able to find me when she was ready. I'm not great at this yet, but I've been learning along the way. I can't create lasting change for myself or for other people. I trusted this truth, practiced letting go, and simply waited with the love God holds in His heart for us every second. He's the one who's really good at this. He's the one who touches and changes hearts. I can only follow His lead and become more like Him. We're all only human, but we're humans created and sincerely chosen by a God who wants to companion us in whatever way we're ready for. We're invited, not pushed. We're welcomed, not coerced. In some small but beautiful way, we play a role in God's work as we hold trustworthy space for others. It's in His love where growth happens. As beautifully penned in the Message, when we start living life with Jesus each day, we see and "learn the unforced rhythms of grace" (Matthew 11:28-30). What happens in you when people you love aren't ready to open up? Take a pause to offer your heart to God. Ask His Spirit to help you be attentive to Him and grow you in the waiting. |
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