If you’re here, I know it’s because you long for more. You desire change and growth. You desire to be fully formed in this life you’ve been given with Christ.
We're fragile, image-conscious, seeking to find value in something. This gets in our way at times, but you know what? I don’t want you to disregard these things too quickly. These are the very real things in our broken selves that give Jesus a way to minister personally to us. It gives us a way to know Him as He does. We all still need Him.
This is the formational journey.
When we first glimpse something in us that makes us feel uncomfortable (sin in our hearts, guilt that plagues us, fear of real intimacy), we tend to look away and try to make it about something else. But, as we're willing to look these are the things that inform us while He forms us into deepening Christlikeness and our true selves. We can look at how saints who have gone before us met Him where they were at. There are so many stories in the Bible of men and women who grew in self and God awareness and their eyes became open along the wya. Jesus met them where they were and now we get to live this ourselves.
We tend to avoid looking at how we feel, how we think, and why we act the way we do. We tend to fear awareness, but awareness is the gift. Awareness is a grace from His heart to ours.
I keep practicing this in my life—this awareness of my own tendencies. There’s no other way I can be formed and grow spiritually with Christ and mature as a disciple if I don’t keep noticing myself.
I’ve been doing some more writing lately. So much of it isn’t on this page yet. It’s lying quietly on the living room floor of my soul while I sit beside it. For much of my life, I’ve desired to find a way around the hard parts and run ahead to what I think will give me something better than pain and questions. I long to see the story come together because I trust Jesus and know it will be a beautiful ending. I’m aware of pieces of my life on these pages. Some feel fragmented and a little shaken up and disheveled. Other pieces on these pages feel deep and clear and full of healed understanding. I keep noticing. I keep looking.
While desiring to see things come together isn’t wrong, at times, it’s just not conducive to the inner work
Christ is doing inside.
So as I continue sitting, knowing His presence with me, I’m continuing to see everything connecting and threading into my story. I’m seeing who I am. Though there have been painful years of spiritual longing and confusion, there’s someone very particular I was created to keep becoming.
Friend, He’s not finished with our story. Because watching and waiting and tending the life of your soul is so much better than running away to try and move on from it all or staying too long to try to prove something. God knows I’ve seen myself capable of both. But, through the love of our Father, the life of Jesus, the indwelling presence of the Spirit, we can say yes to partnering with Him in Kingdom glory right now.
The truth is the Spirit comes and stays with us and helps us receive the healing awareness and transformation we’re all in need of. When we look away or refuse to sit down, we only delay our journey to wholeness and closeness with Him and others. Yet, the Spirit still stays right here waiting for us. God has more He's working on for me, and He does
Take a few moments right now. Come and sit on the living room floor for a little while.